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Ever feel like you’re the only person who hasn’t grown up? Overcome these insecurities by acknowledging you’re not the only one feeling this way.
As a child I couldn’t wait to “grow up.” All the adults around me were so much taller, so much smarter, and they always knew everything. Seriously. It was annoying. Despite this, I thought when I grew up I would know everything about everything. I would be let into the Secret Adulthood Club with a firm handshake and a pat on the back. Maybe there would be stickers. There would definitely be stickers, right?
There is no Secret Adulthood Club. No one knows what they are doing. I’m about 85%
sure that no one actually knows what, exactly, a “grown up” really is. We’re all just stumbling around in the metaphorical darkness of life hoping we don’t crash into anything. Right? So, if none of us are actually “grown-ups,” then there is no secret club and – most devastatingly of all – there are no stickers.
I’ll let you have a moment.
Of course, there’s always a chance that people really do grow up and stuff, but I’m just not mature enough to be counted amongst this group of wise and knowledgeable people. The more I think about this theory, the more likely it seems. I have to say, I much prefer my first assumption. At least then I can take comfort in thinking that no one on the planet has their shit figured out either.
Do “grown-ups” really understand the grand mysteries of life, as I was led to believe? Do they all know how to do taxes? Change tires? Organise their time efficiently? Do they all have nine-to-five jobs they hate but pay the bills? Are they all born with this knowledge or did they somehow secretly acquire it? One day will I too wake up to discover I’ve somehow become a fully functioning adult?
In a quest to discover what the requirements of adulthood are, and if one even can grow up – since I’m still not sure about that– I’m going to be documenting all my nonsensical musings and conspiracies right here on this humble blog.
The first task… Is to overcome the sudden urge to make a Harry Potter reference. This is not the Triwizard Tournament, after all. I know, I know, I’m disappointed too guys.
The second task… Is to find out what google has to say about the complex concept of adulthood. After all, Google is an all-knowing source of knowledge and wisdom. Accordingly, we should trust that everything it tells us is true.
You’re telling me I’m wrong?
Anyway, Google states that an adult is someone who is fully grown or mature… Whatever that means. Seriously, just how do we know when we are “fully grown” or “mature?” This definition is just vague enough for me to feel justified in my earlier suspicions. As “adults” we all speak and act as if we know what we’re doing. The secret is that we are all completely clueless. I’m right, aren’t I?
So, if we’re all stuck in this world without a clue what we’re doing, I think we should join together and start our very own Secret Adulthood Club. All you need to do is admit you don’t know what you’re doing and you shall be welcomed with that handshake and pat on the back I always thought I’d get when I grew up. We don’t have stickers yet, but have faith, we will.
If you feel the same way about life and are absolutely baffled at how one can just “grow up” out of the blue, feel free to follow along as I express just how confused I am about all this too. If I’m wrong, and people actually do feel they’ve matured into world-weary adults – feel free to follow along anyway and laugh at my expense. Honestly, I wouldn’t blame you.
- Do you think adulthood is a lie your parents told you?
- If not, then what exactly is “adulthood,” anyway?
- Do any of you have any idea what you’re doing, ever?
- Is the concept of “adulthood” just one big conspiracy?
- If it is a conspiracy, PLEASE SHARE YOUR THEORIES.
- Also, do you think the secret club needs a secret handshake?