Here’s the thing – sometimes our 20s are just not what they’re cracked up to be. Although many of us aren’t responsible for anything as formidable as raising children, we still have plenty of other worries and responsibilities that keep us busy ‘til the early hours of the morning. I’ve talked about this a lot in previous posts, but I’m going to discuss it some more anyway.
Well, because it’s important!
Even though society is obsessed with “squad” culture, our 20s can still feel like a very lonely experience. Some of us don’t know what we want to do with our lives and question if we’re doing the “right” thing. Even though this is a very common experience, we often only choose to share the best parts of our lives – which means that the harder parts are ignored. The consequence of this is that we think other people are doing “better” than we are. We compare ourselves to others – quite unfairly, I might add.
By not sharing the aspects of our lives we think are embarrassing or unworthy of discussion, we end up isolating ourselves even further. We don’t realise how many other people would empathise with what we’re going through because we refuse to talk about it.
Doing this is very unhealthy – it makes us think we’re alone in our experiences when this is not the case at all.
Of course, there are other reasons we may isolate ourselves. It can be very difficult to make new friends in your twenties – especially if you aren’t honest with them about how you’re feeling. Remember, successful friendships require trust and honesty, just like any other relationship.
Other reasons you may feel isolated are:
- Comparing yourself to others too harshly
- Self-sabotaging new friendships
- Not getting “out there” enough
*If you feel you have a mental illness, please get some help. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
So, if you notice that you’ve isolated yourselves, here are a couple of things you can do about it.
Recognise the Cause
We all isolate ourselves for different reasons. Maybe I’ve discussed it already, or maybe I didn’t think to bring it up at all. Either way, figure out what the cause of this loneliness is for you. After all, you can’t fix a problem if you can’t identify it, right?
Do the Opposite of Whatever You Did Before
My next piece of questionable advice is to do the opposite of what you did before. If you spent all your spare time in your room – get out! If you’re trying and failing to make friends somewhere specific, try somewhere else. Switch up your routine and see what happens.
If you’re isolating yourself because you think others are doing better than you – stop doing this right now. I’m serious. Communicate with your peers and you will generally find that they are going through the same difficult problems you are. You never know… You might just find yourself a little community of supportive and like-minded people that know exactly how you feel.
Are you in your twenties? Were you in your twenties? Did you ever isolate yourself? Let me know why in the comments!
Images from ivorymix.com