When I first started this blog, I tried to write three blog posts a week. When I couldn’t keep up with that, I decided to write two posts a week. Eventually two became one, and one somehow became… None.
I wish I had a reasonable excuse for this, but I don’t. One day I just stopped uploading. I didn’t mean to, but I lost motivation for it. Every time I thought about writing and uploading another post, I simply couldn’t go through with it.
“Maybe tomorrow,” I would tell myself.
Obviously, you can see for yourself how far that method of thinking got me.
This can happen to the best of us. We decide to commit to something – a goal of some kind – and we work really hard to achieve it. For a while, we’re really motivated and driven to succeed. Unfortunately, we’ll eventually run out of steam. We take a break for a day, which then somehow stretches in to a week… Then a month… Maybe even a year.
This is exactly what happened with this blog. One day I just stopped uploading – and once I stopped it became harder to start again. There was always a reason not to do it – I was too tired, or I had to go to work, or I didn’t know what I would write about. In fact, this isn’t even the first time this has happened. You can read more about it here.
There will always be a reason not to do something. If it’s really important you have to find the time. I didn’t do this – instead I listened to that small part of my brain that told me I had other things to focus on.
Some of these things include:
- Thinking about how I can’t find a “real” job.
- Pondering whether I should travel or work next year.
- Freaking out about how I don’t know what career I want to obtain.
- Contemplating whether or not I’ve made the right decisions throughout my young life.
- Wondering whether the fruit or the colour “orange” came first.
- Thinking about how tired I am all the time.
- Deciding that things would be much easier if I could stay inside and watch Netflix all day.
As you can see, there were a couple of things on my mind. I had a lot of doubts and spent a lot of time second-guessing myself. It’s exhausting and not a lot of fun. It’s also very repetitive – I’ve been thinking about this stuff on and off all year.
However, things aren’t all that bad. I am incredibly lucky to be in the position that I’m in. Even though there is no way of knowing what I’ll be doing in the future, I do know that I have choices. I have time to figure these questions out and put them into action. Besides, I don’t think there are really any “wrong” decisions… Just different ones I could make.
So, I’m not going to be too hard on myself. At least I’m here and writing now. That’s the important thing.
Have you ever had a goal that you didn’t stick to? Why did you stop? Did you let yourself listen to that negative part of your brain like I did? Will you try again?
Images sourced from ivorymix.com